first, sorry for spamming posts................ wOOPS

second,

my depression is eating me alive :) please give me reasons not to end it all. I know Rain's doing better but my mind keeps coming up with excuses to be worried and miserable. "If she's doing fine, why hasn't she come back? She could be lying... am I one of the fake friends she's talking about? Why does she think that? Did I do something wrong? Will she ever talk to me again? Did I miss my chance?"

My mind's a kaleidoscope

It thinks too fast

Blurs all the colours

'Till I can't see past

The last mistake, the choice I make

Starin' in the mirror, myself to blame

Sometimes I'm afraid of the thoughts inside

No where to hide inside my mind

I'm scared that you'll compare

And I'll look a lifetime past repair

I second guess myself to death

I re-solicit every step

"What if my words are meaningless?

What if my heart's misleading this?"

I try to capture every moment as it comes to me

Bottle up the memories

And let them keep me

Company

...

When I'm old and grey or thirty

Or whatever happens first

I'll need you to reassure me

I didn't waste a verse!

Or worse, what if my life's worth is reduced to just myself?

Like I'd never let ya get a word in

While I dissect my mental health

Or lack thereof, whatever

There's too many things to track

I really can't remember

If I'm insane or insomniac

And nowadays, all these kids want crazy

Wanna diagnose themselves

Trade up made up epidemics

Pass around prescription pills

But my disorder can't be cured

By a bottle, blade or dose

Self-disgust and selfishness

Tend to hold me awfully close

But I don't wanna let you see that

I don't want my friends to know!

Self-disgust and selfishness

Take me every where I go

...

Try as I might, to keep it together!

Why is recovery taking forever?

Fool the whole world, just until I get better!

I'm terrified I'll be faking forever...

Faking forever...

- Hope of Morning, Icon For Hire