Idk why but I just started crying today. I was in my room cleaning it, and my mom was on a walk and my dad was doing work. I just sort of sagged. I just started crying. I have no clue why.
I've been feeling so depressed lately, and I've been getting headaches and everything. And I've been staying up really late and just staring at the ceiling. Often when I wake up I have tears all over my face.
I haven't got a stinkin clue why. I mean... I guess kind of.
I'm either overwhelmed or underwhelmed. I'm either listening to sad songs and making myself cry, or I'm laying on my bed with my face red. I'm either in a zoom meeting and forcing myself to listen, or I'm doing homework I don't understand. I'm either laughing with my fam, or I'm blinking back tears because they say I'm not doing things right, that I'm a pain, and I'm to emotional.
Sometimes I just want to scream. They don't understand that when I say "I can't do this" or "Please stop" I'm being serious.
I don't feel heard.
And then one day, well I was having a really bad day. While I was doing dishes, my dad came up to me squeezed my shoulders, and pulled me into a hug. My body was so numb and shaking, and my eyes were stinging like crazy. I had set the plate down and started sobbing.
"I love you," he had said. Omg my heart just lightened and cried so hard. I had just really needed to hear something like that.
Dude, sometimes you just don't understand how much you need a hug, and how mad you are until you just hear the words you need to hear. After we had just talked for a teeny weeny bit, my dad said it was all part of puberty. LIKE DUDE WTH DON'T YOU GET THAT THIS IS ME I AM ME STOP PRETENDING THIS IS JUST TEMPORARY. STOP PRETENDING THIS IS JUST FAKE THAT I HAVE NEVER FELT THIS WAY THAT I HAVEN'T BEEN FEELING LIKE THIS. I was so mad and deep breaths didn't help. I just nodded and went back to doing dishes, my breathing fast and my face red. I had to wipe a bunch of tears off the plate I picked up, which I almost dropped because I was shaking so much.
I feel lost, like I'm wondering around in circles or something. I haven't been talking to God as much, because when I do, it feels like He's not there.
Ok, ok, I'm sorry. I'm rambling again. *shakes head*
Sorry, sorry. Ugh I just want to scream so bad. I'm mad, I'm mad, I'm mad.
I keep telling myself over and over again to speak up, but whenever I do it just sounds so stupid. So dumb and stupid and laughable. My parents don't get me, not one bit they don't.
Shot, I'm crying again. This took much longer to type then it should have. I have to go.
🤧 We're here for you, @Stormsun if you ever need to talk. We love you, and we all get like that. ❤️
I know this is late but I just want to say, I understand and even if I am not a christian it helps when you talk to people who you trust like god. But remember that god can take you fare but other people can help you too. Try to sit down with your family a talk to them it will help. Also get out and enjoy this beautiful place we call earth! I cant say this will help because I don't know every type of feeling your feeling just please remember we are your guardian herd you can tell us anything you want.❤️❤️❤️
your friend Aspenray
(Note this has VERY bad spelling and periods so please don't blame me!)
I completely understand! I’m going through this phase as well. (And yes, I do call it a phase because it is actually hormones in your brain firing up due to your body changing so rapidly). But when reading through my long rant, please try and see it from my side as best as you can.
I do believe puberty is the main cause, and the only reason I believe that it is is because you said you just randomly start feeling it. I’m not saying the emotions are invalid or anything, because what puberty does is heighten your emotional state, meaning it makes every thing you didn’t know you felt very strong and unavoidable. But I do believe it will go away unless there is an underlying issue, it’s just going to take a while. If you knew the cause of the emotions and if they happened at certain hours, weekdays, etc., it may be something more serious than just puberty which strikes it’s painful blows at random.
And I know it feels like they aren’t helping you, and it feels like your just sinking to the bottom of a Silent Hole you cant ever hope to get out of. I’ve been in that Silent Hole. It took me a long time (and I’m still realizing it) to realize that it is just hormones and puberty, and my parents have been there. They’ve gone through the exact same thing, especially my mother who I’m so like.
(Also, just keep in mind that parenting is VERY DIFFICULT. No one is ever prepared to become a parent and they never know exactly how to deal with their children’s sadness. They’re probably struggling as much to understand the emotions as you are, if the emotions are as often and as random as you say. )
So, I guess, just try to believe them and listen to them. I know the way your feeling, trust me, I do, but if you were to just stop and consider that they might actually be right, you may find things get a lot better. For instance, I wouldn’t believe my parents when I started going through this. I would cry after another lecture about how it was just my hormones firing up. It felt like they didn’t even know me anymore. But once I started to realize it wasn’t just me going through this, that it was every other girl in my grade, I realized they might actually be right.
Once I accepted that most of the time it’s just puberty, things got a LOT better for me. Now, sometimes it’s not just puberty. For instance, a few times after my aunt died in December from COVID-19, I would just breakdown and cry while remembering her. That’s different because you actually know the cause of emotion.
But if it’s just random and you can’t explain it, I PROMISE YOU it’s most likely just puberty or something out of your control. I PROMISE YOU this. It was very difficult (and still is) for me to cope with the fact that there is nothing I can do to fix the emotions, but try to ignore them. DON’T OPPRESS THEM, but don’t feed into the belief that you’re wroth nothing, a sorry sight, etc., if those are the kind of thoughts you’re thinking.
I know my side is probably more from your parents POV, and I probably sound rude to you because I’m not on your side, but believe me, I went through the same anger at them for not ’understanding’ me. The moment I opened up to them about it and they explained it in more detail and how the feelings are valid, just heightened by puberty, I felt a lot happier and more secure.
Ugh, I'm really sorry to hear that you've been going through that. Depression is a beast. But on the bright side, it seems as if you have surrounded yourself with people that are there for you, and want to help you get through this. Your parents, even if they don't quite get it, sound like they're trying, and hopefully will be able to understand what you're going through sooner rather then later. Also, this MB, while it wasn't exactly set up this is, has really became a great place to go to for these kinds of things. Most of us, at one point or another, have dealt with similar things, and we get it. It can be rough some times. So, and I think I can speak for all of us when I say this, you are not alone, and if you need us for ANYTHING, don't be afraid to speak up. 💕💕💕
I'm SO, SO SORRY to hear this...
I don't have much advice...but I do have a few things I feel I should say.
1) Never give up on God! He'll NEVER forsake you, nor leave you! That's what it says in Deuteronomy 31:8 "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
Trust in the Lord, He will NOT forsake you! He loves you more then you can EVER imagine!
2) It's ok to cry! Sure, media today makes it seem like you HAVE to be strong, that you CANNOT cry. That simply isn't true. Sometimes it's NECESSARY to be vulnerable. Sometimes you need to cry to get your feelings out of your system.
Just know that you can let your feelings out!
3) Know that there are people here that care for you! We are your Guardian Herd, and as such, we will ALWAYS be here for you! You can cry into our wings, voice your concerns, and tell us what's bothering you. We will be here to listen to you, advise you, and be your wings you can cry on.
We will ALWAYS be here for you!
*LOTS OF HUGS*
Your Herdmate,
Skysun!
💗💕💗💙
hey...
I know it's hard to hear that what you're feeling is only hormonal, but that doesn't make it any less valid. You're in a rough patch now, and that's totally fine. But if you want my advice, I'd say you communicate what you're feeling about to your parents so they get it.
Trust me, you'll never get help if you stay silent. We're here for you.
x wraps wings around you x ❣️
Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! Listen, if you ever need to talk me and the MB are here for you! God is there for you. Neither us nor Him will either give up on you. We all love you Val!
I'm so sorry!
I Actually have been diagnosed depression.
And some of the things I do, is well, I bake, that sometimes helps me, or, trying to find funny memes- but sometimes I overthunk the memes and get even more depressed.
Drawing helps me out the most.
:)
😥😥😥😥😥 I really don’t know about depression or being sad like that, so I don’t have much advice. I really hope that it stops! Maybe when you start getting sad, try to think of something happy? Don’t hesitate to cry though, and maybe try to figure out what is making you so sad?
Awww! Stormsun!! -gives a massive hug through my phone- I’m sorry you’ve been feeling like this lately! If there’s anything we can do, please let us know! It is not a laughing matter that your sad-your feelings matter! We care a lot about you Stormsun❤️ I know it may seem like no one understands and I know it may seem like God’s not listening (believe me, I understand. I know because I’ve been there) but please know, He’s listening. He knows. He loves you and so do we! Please never give up faith.
BRO ITS OKAY TO CRY!!! ALL OF YOU LISTEN UP-
IT IS
OKAY
TO
CRY
!!!!!!!!
THATS WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR IS TO LISTEN TO YOU RAMBLE AND RANT AND TO COMFORT YOU AFTERWARD!!! PLEASE never apologize for simply talking! You shouldn’t need to be sorry for crying! I hate when people apologize for showing emotions! SHOW EMOTION! LET IT OUT! ITS OKAY! We got you! We’re here for you! We love you! And God is here too! STAY STRONG STORMSUN YOU GOT THIS
I'm so sorry, that sounds horrible!! It absolutely sucks when you're having a hard time and people act like it's not a big deal. It's fine, we don't mind your rambling. If you need to vent, then we will listen and help the best we can. *gives you a hug* Like Wind said, if you ever need to talk, I'm here.
I'm sorry you're going through this, it's never easy, I'm here if you want to talk