Starleaf gasped and stared at the glowing gold feather in Bumblebush's mane. It was amazing. In that second she realized that it was her feather. We put the feathers in your manes Morningleaf admitted, but we did not know that would happen. She studied her twin. His mane and tail was the curliest she had ever seen on a Pegasus. And it was such a dark brown that it was almost black. his hide had dark brown splotches and the rest of him was the same color as his mane and tail,such a dark brown that it was almost black. his wings were a brilliant green with gold tips. he had two white socks on his front legs and a white blaze his hooves glowed silver. He studied her just the same as she had. Her mane and tail were wavy until they reached two thirds of the way down and then it spiraled down to tight curls. they were a cream color that was so light it was almost white. her hide had white splotches down it and the rest of her was the same color as her mane and tail such a light cream that it was almost white. Her feathers were a bright orange tipped in lilac. She had a white star and one white sock one her hind leg her hooves glowed gold. Star spoke up did any thing happen? He asked. Starleaf replied no I don't think so. she started to look at her hooves as she thought Star does not know and he's was the one with starfire! Well Bumblebush nickered to her I know the story's and his feathers never glowed and he prefers us to call him papa. Starleaf gaped at him I didn't say anything she told him. Really he replied surprised all I did was listen. She decided to try and there it was the faint voice of Bumblebush saying what if she can't hear it, what if I'm crazy! Your right Bumblebush Starleaf told him I can hear you. Do you know what this means Morningleaf asked. what! Your telepathic!
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okay thanks!
I really like this story so far, the only thing I would suggest would be using paragraphs so it's easier to understand